Driving Home From Christmas Dinner

7 or 8 years ago, when people used to ask me “Why would anybody need a mobile phone” I’d bring up a fail-safe use-case as an answer: “What if you are driving along and your car breaks down?”.

Last night I got to try out the use case first hand, but in a way I’d never anticipated.   My wife, son and I were driving home from Christmas dinner.   The car was packed with new toys, including a 3-foot long wire cage for our guinea pig, Mr Tommy Nibbles.  The Celts were on the radio, trying to extend a 19 game winning streak against the Lakers. As we crested a hill heading east on Route 2, we suddenly heard a loud scraping/grating sound.  At first I thought I’d drifted into the jersey barrier to my left, but when I looked to my left I saw we still had about 3 ft clearance.  I couldn’t see anything to the right either.  The noise grew louder — I remember being briefly irritated that I couldn’t hear the radio, but I was able to convince myself that my family’s safety came before finding out if Ray Allen would hit the next 3-pointer.  So I put on the hazards and eased the car into the breakdown lane.  We still have about a foot of snow on the ground in Boston, and the shoulder is smaller than normal as a result.  I was able to get out of the way of traffic, barely, and got out of the car to take a look underneath. What I saw wasn’t good.

The brace that holds the exhaust system up had completely snapped off.  The muffler had been dragging along the ground, probably with sparks flying, for the past 800 yards.   I thought about my options:  Use my E71 to call a tow truck, or try to to somehow tie the muffler back to the undercarriage of the car.  Calling for help didn’t appeal.  I imagined all the tow truck drivers snug at home for Chritmas dinner or watching the Celts.  I figured it’d take at least an hour for them to arrive, another 30 minutes to bring us to a garage which would of course be closed, and we’d still have to figure out how to get home from there.  So I tried to figure out what I had in the car that could tie the muffler back up.  I got back in to discuss with the family and take  inventory.  My son Henry had gotten a kite for Christmas, so I asked him if I could use the string.  He was willing, but was understandably not too happy about the prospect. I cursed myself for not having any duct tape in the car — what kind of self-respecting man doesn’t carry duct tape with him at all times?   My wife rifled through the glove compartment and held up a long wire and asked “what about this?”  It was a wireline headphone jacket from around 2005 or so.  I think I got it with my 7610.   Perfect length, and built Nokia strong

I got out of the car, scooted underneath, and tied the muffler back up.  We drove slowly the rest of the way but made it without incident.   The next morning I went outside to reinforce with a coathanger.  Technology! Here’s some pix of the jerry-rigged set up.  Do not try this at home….

So, with help from Nokia we made it home safe and sound.  My wife broke the bad news when we got to our driveway:  While I was under the car tieing up the muffler, the Celtics had lost.  Bad luck indeed.